“...You shall weep no more. He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; When He hears it, He will answer you.” ~ Isaiah 30:19
During an overwhelming flood of hormones last night at about 7:30, I declared to my household “I need chocolate NOW!!” Tom, being the ever perfect husband replied “I need 2 quarts of oil, if you're going to the store.” That was all I needed. (God bless you, Tommy. You are blessed and favored among men and dearly loved by your wife.)
I got to the store, and realized that I was also low on “feminine hygiene products”, so I had to pick up that stuff, too. Now, believe it or not, I'm a wee bit shy about buying the previous stated needs, plus the fact that I was buying it with chocolate would make the statement loud and clear that I was on my cycle. How embarrassing! So the obvious thing to do is quickly think of anything else I need from the store to try to hide the obvious. Shampoo! We needed shampoo. Lots of shampoo and conditioner to build a tower around the 2 packages of pads. Suddenly, one of my children needed a pair of sweat pants (to cover the packages, of course). Unfortunately, I didn't actually need much, but I had my parcels hidden, my precious chocolate and Tom's oil. I selected a checkout stand that had a female attendant, and females checking out. I carefully unloaded my items building a castle around the unnamed packages. Towers of shampoo, motor oil, chocolate, plain yogurt and deodorant protected the packages and the pants made a nice roof. The young gal at the checkout nicely greeted me with a “Hi! How are you this evening?” I was thinking “I'm buying pads and chocolate, how do you think I'm doing?” But instead replied with a chipper “Doing fine! How 'bout you?” Then she asks me if I want the small chocolate bars in my purse. I hesitated, but then lied “Oh, no thanks, just put them in the bag.” What was she accusing me of? Did she know I was on my time? Does she think I need chocolate? How dare she!! I was quite capable of rummaging through the grocery bags in the dark parking lot to find the chocolate, thank you very much.
The truth is, I don't know what in the world is going on with my hormones, but they are about to drive me out of my mind. I've found myself fighting worse than high school acne and wrinkles at the same time. Trust me, there is no face wash for that. I get furious with the children, then five minutes later, start crying while reading to them because all of Mother Duck's little ducklings came wandering back. If they were my ducklings, it wouldn't be a wonder that they wandered off in the first place! Its at hopeless times like these that I am forced to just look at awe at my children and remember that they come from crazy female hormones (yeah, yeah, and a few from Daddy, too... I know). Somehow I guess it all really does work out for good.